I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize