gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
