hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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