Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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