yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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