um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
