the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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