I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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