At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
