i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
