And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
