He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Congratulations! We have a period
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