Cold hands, warm shart.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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