'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
