could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
