i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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