Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im just a social blackout drinker.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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