No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
