gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
