he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
