that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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