genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
