Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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