Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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