..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize