He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
