Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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