You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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