Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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