Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
