Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize