Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
