i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
