He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
