How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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