i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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