I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
