ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
