so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
