i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
