I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow