How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
