Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.

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  (604): Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum. http://tfl.nu/jh54
  Replies (13) Good night (575) Bad night (766)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?

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  (910): An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win? http://tfl.nu/qcgn
  Replies (25) Good night (845) Bad night (4416)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  never. drinking. again.

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  lets not get ahead of ourselves.

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  (705): never. drinking. again. (1-705): lets not get ahead of ourselves. http://tfl.nu/le2c
  Replies (36) Good night (5152) Bad night (799)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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  (775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3
  Replies (23) Good night (4673) Bad night (1096)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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  (301): chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING. http://tfl.nu/oa1d
  Replies (37) Good night (789) Bad night (5338)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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  (610): Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table http://tfl.nu/dmz2
  Replies (92) Good night (905) Bad night (5003)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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  (206): puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/vlbj
  Replies (36) Good night (830) Bad night (4288)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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  (412): For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early http://tfl.nu/4ftf
  Replies (62) Good night (7021) Bad night (925)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.

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  (519): He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba. http://tfl.nu/mbtr
  Replies (7) Good night (2783) Bad night (688)
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  (805): View more from California

  Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

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  (805): Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren. http://tfl.nu/c1hy
  Replies (3) Good night (2246) Bad night (1102)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon

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  (720): Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon http://tfl.nu/1u8n
  Replies (12) Good night (3995) Bad night (856)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.

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  (724): So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress. http://tfl.nu/pksn
  Replies (7) Good night (3987) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?

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  (602): This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette? http://tfl.nu/45gq
  Replies (17) Good night (1692) Bad night (841)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Why is there broken glass in my purse?

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting

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  (403): Why is there broken glass in my purse? (1-403): You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting http://tfl.nu/xg38
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool

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  (425): When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool http://tfl.nu/u20j
  Replies (6) Good night (613) Bad night (212)

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