weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she woke up with a sticky ear
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it