Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text

  (214): View more from Texas

  I know you're alive

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  (214): Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text (214): I know you're alive http://tfl.nu/9ods
  Replies (8) Good night (1229) Bad night (2318)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You're completely useless in the revolution.

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  (817): You're completely useless in the revolution. http://tfl.nu/br33
  Replies (7) Good night (1111) Bad night (589)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.

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  (520): i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how. http://tfl.nu/qfuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2552) Bad night (799)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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  (970): Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning..... http://tfl.nu/nrjr
  Replies (16) Good night (1953) Bad night (5024)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."

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  (918): Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now. (918): He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced." http://tfl.nu/be28
  Replies (15) Good night (2319) Bad night (837)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.

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  (503): i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there. http://tfl.nu/qu8f
  Replies (15) Good night (542) Bad night (4952)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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  (516): Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects. http://tfl.nu/hkn5
  Replies (48) Good night (727) Bad night (5290)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome

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  (403): That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome http://tfl.nu/k9p3
  Replies (25) Good night (5533) Bad night (884)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook

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  (847): Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook http://tfl.nu/zrse
  Replies (9) Good night (3406) Bad night (1742)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you

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  (717): When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you http://tfl.nu/09i6
  Replies (3) Good night (2949) Bad night (1546)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.

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  (810): It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team. http://tfl.nu/1zge
  Replies (7) Good night (3103) Bad night (1163)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.

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  (801): After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me. http://tfl.nu/tfvw
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (1450)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.

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  (847): Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite. http://tfl.nu/nf89
  Replies (3) Good night (958) Bad night (491)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

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  (613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis
  Replies (2) Good night (337) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.

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  (707): I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible. http://tfl.nu/8qmq
  Replies (7) Good night (872) Bad night (251)

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