I look better un-naked...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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