Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
