just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
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