How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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