White coat. Heels.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
