She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
