oh god the rape fog is back!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
