I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
