We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
