did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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