Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
