im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
