yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
