oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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