Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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