I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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