WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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