is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
