please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
