i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
