You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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