Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize