I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
