Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
