your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
